I am a student of the wisdom of our forefathers and Abe Lincoln once said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Today as I turned in my stats exam, last as usual, the prof said, "You really did struggle with this material." in her condescending annoying tone that she has taken with me all quarter. Normally I'd take Abe's advice, politely agree, leaving the grumbling and comments for me and the interior of my Kia Spectra and that would be it. Tonight, be it lack of sleep or elevated levels of sugar and caffeine, or the false sense of confidence I get when I wear my Carnivore t-shirt, I squared my eyes and replied "That and I found you to be an intimidating and often unclear professor." Not what you want to say when your final exam and final project have yet to be graded. Sorry Abe, today I failed you and possibly my stats class.

I haven't written in years and I can barely keep a personal journal, so I'm not surprised I can't keep up with this. My sis is in Kenya though and has an amazingly vivid and profound blog. I can't get into the whole blog thing, because I kinda think who cares. I mean in my sisters I see the value of sharing, but mine at least from years ago as crazy antics and not much substance. I guess I'm weary of putting anything of value out on the interweb. Oh well. Guess I'm back in the blogosphere. Currently as an auditor, "an actor too perhaps, if I see cause" <-- Name what play that's from and you win a prize :)

*Written After Watching the Cincy Game*

It's like waking up on a holiday when you were a kid. Sure, you open your eyes and when you look out your window at the world, it looks like any other ordinary day. But then much like the smell of Christmas cookies in the air, or the front yard being littered with eggs, you hear the faint sound of the marching band, which grows louder as game time approaches, telling you this is no ordinary day, this is Game Day at The Ohio State University.
A campus of friends and strangers transforms. As long as you are dawning scarlet and gray you are fellow countrymen, one Buckeye Nation, under Brutus, Tressel, The Shoe. The scarlet and gray we wear is part of the Game Day holiday like the attire selection of any other holiday, you dress for the occasion. As the Best Damn Band in the Land plays "Across the Field" from your personal playlist or blares from the house party across the street, everyone in Buckeye Country chooses from an assortment of scarlet and gray face paint, beads, football shirts, Block O shirts, wigs, capes, hats. Truth is, uniform of choice to go into the gridiron battle, nuts (buckeye necklaces) and a jersey. You'll never go wrong.
Then in line with holiday tradition, there is a parade. The Game Day Parade consists "Hang On Sloopy" playing from every shop and restaurant on High, Lane, or whatever personal parade route that gets you to the Shoe. Buckeyes of all ages walk with pride, representing their Buckeye spirit. You wave, smile, high five, and "O-H" your way in line with your fellow Bucks whom you may not know by name but you know by the shared anticipation as friends.
At the end of the parade route stands the sparkling tree, the brand new bike, The Shoe is that perfect piece of the Game Day holiday and no matter how many times you see it you, when you first lay your eyes on it on Game Day stop, sigh, and take a deep breath before you head towards the gate. It being my last year as an Undergrad at Ohio State, I stood and stared for a little longer than I ever had before.
Everyone's a little friendlier. A smiling ticket taker with Good Afternoon, Enjoy the Game, and giddy thank you from me as I enter a place where there are Buckeye Spirits in the air. Woody's watching from somewhere and the presence of past greats, Archie, Eddie, Krenzel in the very stadium we are entering electrifies all who enter. I have a feeling that even those visiting Buckeye Country feel it too.
Like waiting in line for a thrill ride you race up stairs, sometimes flights and flights. That climb not only to C deck, but then to row 38 of C deck is long, but you are thrilled by every minute of it, it's after all part ride. You find your seat and look down at the Buckeye Nation's battle field, no matter where you sit, you are on the front lines, and the Bucks can't do it with you screaming the words to the Buckeye Battle Cry, Stadium Ohio, and the "OOOOOOOOO-H-I-O" at kick off. Your head is always in the game being played, but you can't help thinking about when this field will become the Buckeye Family Thanksgiving Table, main course, Wolverine. When you call BS on an unsportsmanlike conduct call, the old couple next to you agrees. "First Down Ohio State!" are four of my favorite words. Touchdowns, long drives, field goals, means hugs and screaming in the arms of anyone around you. Screaming so loud and hoping so hard, 105,000 strong, it’s dizzying.
In the end, we thank the players and the Man in the sweater vest running the show and just like in the end of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, arms on the shoulders of the Buckeye next to you. Bells toll and you sing the words that again, going into 4th year have never meant so much. So many memories of the singing that song, from when I learn the words at convocation, and every Game Day since. We walk out bells still ringing and everyone calls their family, because when you go to Ohio State, your family not only cares about the score, they were watching along with you, together, like family should be on holidays.
You take the victory lap home with your Buckeye family, discussing every minute of the action over and over again and how eager we all are for next game day the next Game Day. Back home there will be brauts and beer and other football games to watch, but no matter the outcome the other games you are happy, knowing no one else in the country has a Game Day that can compare to those known by an Ohio State Buckeye. Go Bucks!

I'm pretty mad at the candy world right now. Remember when there was just king size, regular size, and fun size candy bars? Well recently, I went to eat what I believed to be a fun size Twix bar and noticed that the whole thing was gone in just two bites. A fun size is at least four bites, even with a mouth as large as mine. I was outraged! How dare they shrink the fun size bar down?! Two bites is no fun at all and most definitely not fun enough to be called fun sized! I picked up the wrapper to look for the number to the comment line so I could call and let them know how unhappy I was when I saw I had been deceived. Though the package looked to like it was my beloved fun size, it was a Twix mini. Since when did they make a size smaller than fun size? It's not even worth putting in an individual wrapper if I have to eat 12 to feel like I've eaten even one fun size. It's more trash and less candy and that is a shame. Presently I am not sure whether or not they still make fun sized bars, but I intend to find out and warn you all about these smaller, disappointing apportionments of the candy world, the Twix bar mini.
I love a lot of things. Holidays are one of them. Downtown is decked out and ready for the holidays and I get so excited everyday day coming to and from work. There are wreathes and twinkle lights and ornaments! Though I think it is slightly unpatrioctic to replace the American flags outside the Supreme Court with Cartoon Frosty the Snowman flags, the Christmas lover in me says fly on you banners of yuletide joy!
I hope to sleep a lot during Thanksgiving break. I haven't been sleeping very much. I don't know if it was the tired delierium or that I underestimated the show, but I find myself getting easily caught up in the Hallmark channels 3 am showing of Walker Texas Ranger. Monica left my TV on that channel before we went out one weekend and when I went to settle in for the night around 3 am I flicked on the TV to find Chuck Norris lighting up the screen with his enchanting Karate moves. I kept telling myself this is a bad show and I will change at the first commercial. Apparently though, the Hallmark channel was bringing the show to me commercial free. I got totally caught up in the karate montages and early 90's inspriational saxaphone blaring in the background to help Walker up when the bad guys knocked him down, and the sweet face of the chubby asian boy who was kidnapped who he was trying to save whose face they flashed acrossed the screen when Walker needed motivation to keep fighting. Next thing you know its 4 am and not only am I wide awake, I want more Norris. I will let you know if the problem becomes more serve.

I am dying of embarrassment at this very second. I got dressed in the dark this morning and not fully conscious and a bright blue bra with a yellow polo seemed fitting. On the bus people were staring and I thought it was because I have my collar popped today. I was like yes people on the COTA bus I did pop my collar, for shame on you for judging me. But after being in the office for an hour I went to use the restroom looked in the mirror and there she was, electric blue blazing through my polo, shocking everyone, screaming I am a slutty intern. With this I have declared, sure 50+ year old men who stare at me inappropriately most days, today I have given you reason to keep on leering at me creepily, your persistence has paid off and here is your blue Victoria Secret trophy. I didn't wear any type of jacket today because it is supposed to be 70, so I can't cover up ole blue in anyway. I then thought turn your office lights off because then the light won't shine through the polo, making an x-ray for my goodies. But then I thought Floozy Mcblue Bra has already been seen around the office and perhaps having the lights off make my personal office seem like a den of seduction. So I'm combating the stares by staring back, watching everyone stare and judge over and over again as they walk by. CURSES!
Paige is coming today. I couldn't be more excited. She is my mini me. Scary isn't it, to think there is another one like me. I've bred her this way through diligent years of teaching her my ways like teaching her to eat cake frosting right out of jars as a toddler and making her make and wear bunny hats on Easter, even when she tells me we're too old to wear them now. Her dad went to the University of Illinois, but she wears the Buckeye uniform and will say right in front of her father Let's Go Bucks. Could she be anymore perfect?
I'm batting around the idea of living aboard again. If I could get a paid internship while being abroad, I would do it in a heartbeat. I wanna go somewhere with less monkies and craziness this time. I guess only time will tell.

Some may say "My Stef, a new post, and so quickly, you must be getting more efficient!". If you are out there in Blog land dazzled by the quick posting, stop right now. The only reason I am posting is because I am frittering away my time. With every letter I type, Fritter, Fritter, F, r, i,t,t,e,r. I don't understand why it seems necessary to do everything in the world online during my hour and a half break, but it did. Wrote on some facebook walls and did some stalking, cleaned out my inbox, I even paid my bills online for goodness sakes. All in the name of procrastination.
Does anybody know what Taurine is? It's in my sugar free red bull which I drink about 8 of a week at this point. Who says you can't add more hours to your day?! With good ole Taurine you can go for at least 72 hours before you go into a coma like state for 24 hours. I really want to know what it is because the can boasts that it is in there, but I know it's not like vitamin C. And the name Taurine sounds like it should be on the periodic table of elements. But tonight down it goes intomy belly,again. If I end up glowing green I'll let you know but personally I'm hoping I develop spidey sense.

I haven't posted in forever. I'm posting today because it's a bad day and I am at work and I

have my own office so unproductivity seems too easy to ignore.

I had written a decent post sometime in August, maybe early September. I wasn't able to sleep and trotted upstairs in my underpants at 4 am and I was in the house all alone, as I was typing in the office that has these huge windows I thought to myself "hmmmm...This is how horror movies start". I couldn't shake the overwhelming sense that a serial killer or a worse a giant spider lay outside that window, peering in at me during no pants time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. So I quit where I was and ran back downstairs and hid under the safety shield a.k.a. my blanket.

Back at school now and the dungeon is freaking sweet. Being as it is my room, it is a mess, but what else is new? Anyone who hasn't come to see it needs to. I love it. Troll Happy!!!

Things have been rough this year to say the least. Since the incident within the 1st couple weeks back it seems hard to get too excited or feel that there has been any sort of reprieve. I want it to be over and behind me pretty bad, but I'm not sure it ever will be. I'm working hard to make it a positive and find a silver lining. There's a chance I may lose my job, which thus far I love. So we'll see...

My bro is getting MARRIED. Next November 25th there will be a Heidi Seger. Super excited about that! Especially since Bud promised me that I get a personal ice cream cake at the wedding with ponies on it. I love him and I'm so happy for him. The best thing about his nuptuals is that family members who I have not spoken to in a while all want to know my relationship status, which has remained the same for three years. They find it hard to believe that a girl would stay single by choice and want law school over baby making. The Lesbian/Nun/At least you have a fufilling life speech has gotten a little old. Especially since everyone encouraged my brother to "sow his wild oats" when he was my age. I guess it's just different between boys and girls. And ya never know, a year and a half ago my brother was pimpin all over the world so...

I had more to write but I just ingested what I believe maybe a leaf, so I'm gonna go spit it out. P.S. I was all excited about the post I got until I read it and it was spam:( So if you read this post. P.P.S. Whoever keeps calling from the unknown or private number 5 times a day and then not talking when I answer...PLEASE STOP. It's annoying me.

More Reviews:
The 40 Year Old Virgin. Surprisingly good. Not just stupid funny but really funny and despite one too many similarities between the personality and lifestyle of me and the 40 year old virgin, it really does not knock the choice to be a virgin, which I found refreshing. If you wanna laugh, be grossed out, and have your heart warmed all at the same time. See this movie.
The Skeleton Key, good scary flick. For the gentleman, Kate Hudson in tiny panties running in the rain, for the ladies lots of close ups of the geriatric old man Kate is taking care of. The ending is a total surprise, which is hard to do in scary movies now a days. If you like jumping in fear, or New Orleans go see this!
Blah! I woke up this morning with the worst headache in the world. I feel so melancholy lately. Tuesday was my day off but everyone was gone and so I did what any 20 year old with do on their day off, I read at Mount Vernon for a couple of hours then went to the eye doctor. I know I know, I'm out of control. I then went to rent a movie to watch alone and was so desperate to talk to people at the Blockbuster I became one of those creepy people who ease drops on couples and gives them advice on their movie selection. Some of the couples were nice and politely pretended to care, and other were rude and gave me weird looks and nervously laughed as I lingered in the candy isle telling them the Stepford Wives is not the best choice for their viewing pleasure this evening. I finally settled on the combination of the movie A Lot Like Love and a bag of Sweet Tart gummy bugs to fill my evening.
I passed a Wal-Mart on the way home and decide I needed a new stuffed animal to watch the movie with (if you're laughing at me or thinking I'm un-cool right now STOP!). I went into the Wal-Mart and was shocked to find, there is no longer a stuffed animal aisle. There were a few stuffed animals, but they all talked, or lit up, one Elmo went to the bathroom. I felt old and started ranting about how America no longer values the purity and innocence of your good old fashion stuffed toy that did nothing more than than look cute, feel soft, and when you squeezed it didn't sing some annoying jingle written by corporate America meant to brain wash the fragile minds of our youth at their most formative years. It was then I decided, I am a stuffed animal purist.

Ahhhh! I never thought I would say this but I want summer to be over:( My hometown friends are all leaving to go back to school and I will be working still. In the Outback mates, there is so much drama that is it funny, it's like Dawson's Creek. I have made some really cool friends but they are leaving too, so I'll be stuck with the manager that look like Donkey lips from Salute your Shorts who won't stop asking me out and John, a really huge 30 something year old man who there is not enough room in the kitchen for, so he rubs up against me causing his sweat soaked flight shirt to ring out onto me. I like eating Aussie Cheeese Fries and getting flare though so I guess there is a balance.
I'm also stressed cuz I feel like I don't have time to do anything but work. I get home so late and don't return phone calls, or if I do no one ever answers cuz I call at 2am or later (or is it earlier?) I was venting my frustration about this to Bobby. I know in the end there is good reason to work so hard, but for now every penny goes to various bills and the consumption of food. One of those makes me cringe and one of those makes me happier than almost anything on the planet. Again I guess there is balance.
Time for Stef's almost end of summer review:
I've read 4 books this summer. A testament to my coolness? Maybe so. Nobody has read the new Harry Potter yet and I am dying to talk about it. When I asked around at work everyone made fun of me. They are obviously jealous and will be ill prepared to deal with the spell I cast on them due to their lack of Harry Potter knowledge. It was great! The cover was green, so that gave it points before I even started. I understand Harry motivations and he makes the decisions that I would hope he would, which I like cuz I like getting my way. The surprise death is not a surprise, I guessed in while on chapter 2, so that was a bit of a bummer, but how it is written was a treat to read.
There have been good movies this summer too. The Wedding Crashers prolly being my fav. I laughed so hard, much to the embrassment of movie buddy Jon. It also made my obsession with Old School, Zoolander, and Anchorman return full force. This means the annoying, non stop quoting from 2-3 years ago has also returned. Bet ya anyone who missed me is glad their not here for that. Hustle and flow was good, a bit too long but I felt I could relate a lot to the life of a trick. Going to the 10:15 showing of that dressed in Abercrombie kinda made me wanna sing that Sesame Street Song, "One of these things is not like the others, One of these things just doesn't belong". Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, visually astounding, but when is Tim Burton not? It could've used way more music, not blaring techno sung by chipmunk voice more creepy than the orginal looking Oompa Loompas, but the "Candy Man" and "I've got a Golden Ticket" type would've been nice. Jonny Depp was good and weird as always, in the strange way he makes you want to have sex with his character in every movie that he is in, even if he does have scissor hands.